The One Thing That Gave Me Hope For Recovery From Mental Illness

Photo Courtesy of Wix

Until recently, I wasn’t sure that I would ever recover from mental illness.

I had tried almost everything.

I had seen five different mental health professionals: a child and youth counsellor, a family therapist, two psychotherapists, and a psychiatrist at the local outpatient mental health clinic. I learned a lot, but never felt like things were changing.

I had seen four different doctors and run the gamut of pharmacological treatments. I tried four different antidepressants. Two of the SSRIs resulted in gastrointestinal distress, which, in turn, created nutritional deficiencies and gave me chronic fatigue. The SNRI caused me to dissociate while driving and gave me suicidal ideations. It was a scary time, and I'd prefer not to revisit it.

I had also tried various forms of birth control, thinking (incorrectly) that it might be a hormonal problem. I tried vitamins and natural supplements, to no avail. I even tried medical marijuana, which actually helped a bit, once I found CBD oil.

I tried making changes to my diet, exercise habits, and sleep routine – although anyone who suffers from mental illness could tell you that it is extremely difficult to be consistent with these things. It’s hard to feed yourself, move your body, and have a healthy sleep routine when your self-worth is at an all-time low.

In fact, I almost lost my ability to care for myself entirely. At one point, I had twelve cavities, my hair was falling out in clumps, and I hadn’t gotten it cut in over a year. I stopped recognizing myself in the mirror.

(Note: This post contains affiliate links. This means that I gain a small commission, at no extra cost to you, when you use these links to make a purchase. This keeps the blog running and provides you with awesome product recommendations. I only link to products that I have tried and tested and would recommend to a friend - you! For more details, please visit our Disclosure Policy page.)

I say this not for you to take pity on me, but so that I can identify with other people who know what I’m talking about and who have been there. If this isn't you, perhaps you can see the struggle in a loved one. One in five of us will be affected by mental illness in our lifetime – so even if your life hasn’t been touched by mental illness yet, I hope you read on and take some of my hard-earned knowledge with you.

Here are the words that sparked my hope for recovery, even when all felt lost:

“Neurons that wire together, fire together.” - Canadian neuropsychologist Donald Hebb, 1949

What does this mean?

It means that our thoughts create physical pathways in the brain. The more we think the same thoughts, the stronger the pathways become. This explains why it is so easy to get stuck in negative thought patterns. But it also means that we have the ability to get unstuck.

Our brains are able to literally rewire themselves.

How cool is that?!

It’s called neuroplasticity.

Watch this TED Talk by Joe Dispenza to learn more about the science behind neuroplasticity.

This idea has given me the hope for recovery that I so desperately needed. Learning about the fascinating world of neuroscience and neuropsychology has really empowered me.

Here are some more talks related to this idea: Alan Watkins, Lisa Feldman Barrett, and Deepak Chopra.

In reading the book The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, I began to understand my brain, mind, and body in radically new ways.

Our brain is made up of three main areas:

• The brain stem, which is controls our ‘automatic’ body functions such as heart rate and digestion;

• The limbic brain, which controls our emergency ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ response;

• And the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for cognition and rational thinking.

I learned that when we experience a trauma (such as loss, separation, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, near death experience, witnessing a death, etc.) the limbic area often hijacks our brain. The amygdala, the brain structure that sends out the stress chemicals cortisol and adrenaline, has already signalled our body to respond to a threat before our rational mind even knows what’s happening.

The prefrontal cortex goes totally offline.

This is why time seems to slow down during a traumatic event, and why victims of trauma can later have trouble remembering and describing what happened to them. The prefrontal cortex, which manages our sense of time and explicit memory, isn't working. It can feel like the event will last forever.

The limbic brain is driving, and our bodies are automatically responding.

The limbic brain also has the capacity to remember traumatic events. It can respond to a trigger that even slightly resembles the original threat, and causes the body to react accordingly.

As Dr. John Rigg explains, this is why the war veteran doesn’t stop to ponder that the fireworks are not life-threatening machine gun fire; he is already diving for cover.

We call it post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.

Neurons that fire together, wire together.

The more we are triggered by past trauma, the stronger the pathways get. The more negative thinking we do, the more likely our brain is to automatically move to that setting. Trauma causes physical changes in the brain that are now measurable by science, as we learned in the talk by Dr. Joe Dispenza.

But there is a way to train your brain to combat these problems – and it’s called meditation.

Meditation is a process by which you can learn to step away from your thoughts, or, your rational mind. By creating this mental ‘space’ between thoughts, you also create the opportunity for you to choose whether to follow a train of thought, or not to. This talk by Eckhart Tolle can help you to understand how meditation can help us break the habit of excessive thinking.

MRI scans have shown that a regular meditation practice reduces activity in the amygdala, or limbic brain, and increases activity in the prefrontal cortex. In fact, the connectivity between these two parts of our brain actually decreases.

This is why meditation is so calming; it reduces our stress response. It causes the neural pathways between the thinking mind and our subconscious to slowly wither away. The new neural pathways in our prefrontal cortex get stronger each time we utilize them through meditation, helping us to live life in a more conscious state.

When we are depressed, we are thinking about the past. When we are anxious, we are thinking about the future. But in the here and now, when we learn to be fully present, we can realize that we are safe. We can learn to separate from our past pain and future anxiety, and accept true joy, love, and creativity in the moment, when it arises.

As John Lennon once sang,

“Imagine all the people, living for today…”

I am only just starting my meditation journey, but I am already noticing a difference in my thought patterns. I feel so empowered to use this knowledge as a tool for recovery; I hope it helps someone else out there, too.

Do you meditate? What do you think about meditation?

Leave me a note in the comments - I would love to hear your thoughts on this!

If you know someone who is struggling, please send this along!

Enjoy the here and now,

Catherine